Body Shaming: Shame as a Sick and Twisted Game

body shamingBody Shaming

By: 2SC Staff

With such a high value placed on physical attractiveness, our society has groomed itself to measure self-worth based on whether or not we are pretty enough, fit enough, handsome enough, hip enough, young enough and just about any other superficial body trait. 

As a result, we go through life comparing our looks to others’—often touched-up, manipulated images of beautiful celebrities in the popular media—with the sinking feeling that we are somehow substandard in the looks department. If you don’t have “the right look” you may find yourself on the receiving end of major body shaming.

What is Body Shaming?

Haven’t you heard about body shaming? Oh yeah, it’s the latest craze among some people whereby an individual is taken to task for not looking perfect. The person’s gender doesn’t matter – nor does their age or anything else.

While celebrities bear the brunt of criticism, the phenomenon of body shaming has made its way into all of our daily lives. Just sign on to your favorite social media account and will become obvious.

Haven’t you heard about body shaming? Oh yeah, it’s the latest craze among some people whereby an individual is taken to task for not looking perfect. The person’s gender doesn’t matter – nor does their age or anything else.

While celebrities bear the brunt of criticism, the phenomenon of body shaming has made its way into all of our daily lives. Just sign on to your favorite social media account and will become obvious.

body shaming chicago therapists 2nd story counseling
Body Shaming – The New “Thing”

Beauty Du Jour

There is nothing new about a cultural standard of beauty.  Across the globe, in every culture, there are very specific physical traits, fashion trends, hairstyles and such that define what is considered attractive.  These desirable traits shift and change over time, especially in the Western hemisphere. 

One decade a curvy, voluptuous shape is coveted then the next decade a pencil-thin physique is in vogue.  Trying to chase these trends is like chasing rainbows; you will never reach that pot of gold. Shame on you!

Why do we struggle so hard to fit that media-defined mold of physical attractiveness?  What causes this obsessive focus on outer appearance and the crazy lengths we will go to achieve that perceived ideal? 

Think of the wacky diets, the endless clothing purchases, the quarterly Botox injections—all in the name of trying to emulate some iconic beauty in a magazine or the unrealistic image of perfection.

Body Shaming from Inside and Out

Science has long studied the psychological effects of self-image on self-esteem.  Research has shown that an unhealthy obsession with appearance can profoundly impact behavior, resulting in eating disorders, unnecessary plastic surgery, depression, anxiety and a general dissatisfaction with life. 

When one’s self esteem is contingent on a specific perceived ideal, they view acceptance of others as crucial to their sense of worth. Unfortunately, how we perceive ourselves physically can be impacted by how others respond to our looks. 

body shaming

 

Usually starting in the teen years, especially among girls, a preoccupation with being socially accepted can revolve around appearance, including physical traits, clothing choices, even whether the teen is choosing the “correct” designer labels! 

Body Shaming and Youth

The teen years are often brutal in this regard, where outright criticism and shaming via social media can have devastating psychological results. It’s gotten to the point that many young people are literally hooked on their computers, waiting for the latest updates on whose “fat” and who is deemed “ugly”.  This is body shaming at its worse and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

Body Shaming and Adulthood

In adulthood, men and women feel pressure to keep up with fashion protocols in the workplace and staying physically fit and toned.  Carrying extra weight or being underweight, based on the current cultural ideal, is met with disapproving comments or glances, only adding to a diminishing sense of worth. 

So, the impact of appearance on self-esteem can come from internal or external messaging, but the result is the same.  Negative feelings, a sense of failure and inferiority all play into the false belief that you don’t measure up. And this phenomenon is not restricted to women. Read our post on bigorexia!

distortions body shaming

Ditch the Body Shaming Distortions

What can you do to overcome these destructive and distorted thoughts?  To really gain power over deeply entrenched perceptions of self, cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective.  CBT can help alleviate negative self-talk and distorted self-image by:

  • Helping the client identify the concept of size perception, teaching them through exercises to attain realistic imaging of the distressing part of their anatomy (thighs too big, tummy too fat, nose too long, etc.) instead of an exaggerated one
  • Helping the client to understand their own negative response or reaction to triggers that contribute to their lack of confidence, and to replace them with healthy responses
  • Helping to desensitize the client to false and misleading images of perceived physical perfection in the media
  • Teach the client relaxation techniques to utilize when emotional triggers cause distress, such as peer criticism or negative external messaging
  • Teach the client to access positive thoughts to substitute for negative thoughts, and to practice positive self-affirmation
  • Helping the client through specific exercises to get a more realistic perception of how others really view them, as often their perceptions are exaggerated

Cognitive behavioral therapy along with other forms of talk therapy can truly change your life, giving you a healthy, positive view of yourself, including many more factors than simply appearance. 

Achievements, talents, personality qualities, athletic skills and intelligence should all be components of a healthy sense of self.  Therapy will help you to rediscover those important traits that are unique to who you are. We are including a book recommendation above entitled, Beautiful You that helps to emphasize the points made here.

An effective therapist can steer you towards the thoughts and activities that will help promote a positive self-image, culminating with you as the object of admiration!

Contact us at 2nd Story Counseling for our life-changing, solution-focused, strength based approach to helping clients reclaim their sense of self-worth.  Call us today at 773.528.1777 for the real results you so deserve.

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