Coping with Loneliness

Living in a city as big and bustling as Chicago can be exciting. There are endless restaurants to try, concerts to catch, and neighborhoods to explore. But here’s the surprising truth: even in the middle of all this energy and opportunity, loneliness is something I hear about from clients all the time.

You’d think being surrounded by millions of people would make it easier to feel connected, but the opposite can happen. Crowded streets, packed L trains, and busy schedules can leave you feeling invisible, isolated, or even more aware of being on your own. As a Chicago therapist, I want to talk openly about how loneliness ties into depression and anxiety—and share some practical ways to cope when city life feels overwhelming.

Why Loneliness Hits Hard in a Big City

Loneliness in Chicago isn’t just about being physically alone. It’s about feeling disconnected. You might be surrounded by coworkers, neighbors, or classmates and still feel like no one really “sees” you.

Here are some common reasons I see loneliness spike in big-city life:

• Fast-paced lifestyle: Everyone is hustling. Between work, commuting, and social events, it can feel like there’s no time for deeper connections.
• High turnover: Chicago attracts people from all over the world, but it also means friends move away for new jobs, schools, or opportunities.
• Comparison trap: It’s easy to scroll through Instagram and feel like everyone else is thriving in their Gold Coast apartment or Lakeview rooftop bar while you’re struggling just to get through the day.
• Weather blues: Winters here are long and gray, which can intensify isolation and seasonal depression.

The Link Between Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety

Loneliness doesn’t just feel bad—it can seriously affect your mental health. When you’re disconnected, your brain and body respond in ways that can worsen depression and anxiety.

• Depression: You may feel unmotivated, hopeless, or start pulling away from activities you once enjoyed. See our Chicago depression treatment page to learn more.
• Anxiety: Being alone can feed into worry thoughts like, “What if I never find my people?” or “Something must be wrong with me.”
• Physical symptoms: Stress hormones increase, making it harder to sleep, focus, or feel calm.

Practical Ways to Cope with Loneliness in Chicago

If you’re nodding along, know this: you are not alone in feeling lonely. Many people here experience the same thing. And there are steps you can take to break the cycle.

• Start with small social risks: Strike up a quick conversation with your barista or a neighbor. Even short, positive interactions can boost your mood.
• Join local groups: From book clubs at the Chicago Public Library to volunteer events in Lakeview, there are countless ways to meet people with shared interests.
• Create routine “anchor points”: Go to the same café, yoga class, or farmer’s market. Familiar faces over time can become real connections.
• Take care of your mental health basics: Sleep, movement, and nutrition are the foundation. When you’re feeling better physically, reaching out feels less intimidating.
• Challenge comparison: Remind yourself that social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Many people posting about their “perfect lives” also struggle with loneliness.
• Consider therapy: Having a non-judgmental space to process feelings of disconnection can help you rebuild confidence and create a plan for connection.

A Therapist’s Perspective

As a therapist in Chicago, I see clients every week who struggle with loneliness. Sometimes it’s recent grads in Lakeview trying to find their footing, other times it’s long-time professionals in the Gold Coast who feel disconnected despite “having it all.”

The truth is, loneliness doesn’t discriminate. It can impact anyone, no matter your stage in life or how many followers you have online.  But therapy can help you:

• Build self-awareness around the patterns keeping you isolated.
• Develop social confidence and reduce anxiety around reaching out.
• Learn coping strategies for the depression that sometimes rides alongside loneliness.
• Focused therapy for women can help if you do have gender specific issues (see our Chicago Woman focused therapy page).

Closing Thoughts

Chicago is a city full of opportunity, but it can also be overwhelming and lonely. If you’re feeling disconnected, I want you to know you’re not broken and you’re not the only one. Reaching out for help—whether through small social steps or therapy—is a sign of strength, not weakness.

If loneliness, anxiety, or depression have been weighing on you, know that support is available. At my counseling practice here in Chicago, I help people find meaningful ways to connect, cope, and thrive in city life.

You don’t have to navigate loneliness alone. Connection is possible, and it often starts with one small step.