Internal Family Systems

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a revolutionary, evidence-based approach developed by psychologist Dr. Richard Schwartz that recognizes your mind as naturally organized into multiple sub-personalities or “parts.” Unlike traditional therapy that might try to eliminate or suppress certain thoughts and behaviors, IFS therapy operates on a radically different premise: every part of you developed for a good reason, usually to protect you from pain or harm.

Think about the last time you experienced internal conflict. Maybe part of you wanted to speak up in a meeting, but another part kept you silent. Or perhaps part of you craves connection while another part pushes people away. These aren’t character flaws or bad habits—they’re parts of your internal system, each with its own perspective, feelings, and protective strategies.

The Core Philosophy of IFS

IFS therapy is built on the understanding that beneath all your parts exists an undamaged core Self. This Self is characterized by what IFS calls the “8 Cs”—calmness, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness. When you’re in Self, you naturally have the wisdom and compassion needed to heal your wounded parts.

The beauty of IFS is that it doesn’t pathologize your experiences. That inner critic constantly judging you? It’s not “bad”—it’s trying to protect you from failure or rejection. The part that withdraws when things get difficult? It learned that retreat keeps you safe. The anxious part scanning for threats? It’s working overtime to prevent bad things from happening.

Why IFS Works Differently

Traditional therapy often focuses on changing behaviors or challenging thoughts. IFS takes a different approach: when parts feel truly heard and understood by your Self, they naturally transform. The anxious part that once overwhelmed you can relax. The angry part that lashed out can express needs differently. This happens not through force, willpower, or cognitive restructuring, but through compassionate curiosity and understanding.

Our Chicago IFS therapists have found this particularly effective for clients who’ve tried other therapeutic approaches without lasting results. If you’ve spent years trying to “fix” yourself, IFS offers a refreshing alternative: there’s nothing to fix, only parts to understand and integrate.

IFS for LGBTQ+ Individuals

As longtime Lakeview and Boystown practitioners, we’ve seen how powerfully IFS resonates with LGBTQ+ clients. Many of our queer clients developed protective parts in response to discrimination, rejection, or having to hide their authentic selves. These parts might include a part that constantly monitors how “gay” or “queer” you appear, a part that pushes away potential partners to avoid rejection, a part that internalized homophobic or transphobic messages, a part that performs heteronormativity for safety, or a part carrying shame about your identity.

IFS helps you compassionately understand these parts, witness what they experienced, and help them heal. Rather than fighting internalized homophobia or transphobia, you develop a relationship with the parts carrying those messages and help them update their understanding of your safety and worth.

The Evidence Behind IFS

While IFS was initially developed in the 1980s, research supporting its effectiveness has grown substantially. Studies show IFS is particularly effective for trauma, depression, anxiety, and relationship issues. The approach has been recognized as evidence-based by the National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices.

What makes IFS unique is its non-pathologizing stance. Instead of viewing symptoms as disorders to be eliminated, IFS sees them as parts trying to protect you. This compassionate approach often leads to faster, more sustainable healing than traditional symptom-focused therapies.

Internal Family Systems therapy has proven remarkably effective for a wide range of mental health concerns. Our Chicago IFS therapists regularly help clients with the following conditions:

Trauma and PTSD

IFS is one of the most effective trauma therapies available because it allows you to approach painful memories at a pace that feels safe to your entire system. Unlike exposure-based therapies that might push you to confront trauma directly, IFS works with the protective parts that developed in response to trauma.

These protective parts—your Managers and Firefighters—initially resist trauma work because they’re trying to keep wounded Exiles locked away. IFS therapy helps you develop a trusting relationship with these protective parts first. When they understand that your Self can handle what happened, they gradually allow access to the Exiles carrying traumatic memories.

This paced, compassionate approach is especially valuable for complex PTSD and childhood trauma. Many of our Chicago clients experienced ongoing trauma during childhood—abuse, neglect, or unstable caregiving—and developed elaborate internal systems to survive. IFS doesn’t just address traumatic events; it heals the entire system of parts that formed in response.

We often combine IFS with EMDR therapy for comprehensive trauma treatment. This integrated approach helps you process traumatic memories while simultaneously healing the parts affected by those experiences. The combination is particularly powerful because EMDR helps discharge the emotional intensity of memories while IFS addresses the protective patterns that keep you stuck. Learn more about our trauma therapy services.

Anxiety Disorders and Panic

Anxiety is almost always the result of parts working overtime to keep you safe. Your anxious Manager parts scan for threats, catastrophize outcomes, maintain hypervigilance, and create elaborate rules for safety—all in an attempt to prevent bad things from happening. Meanwhile, Firefighter parts might panic when threat feels imminent, creating the physical sensations and overwhelming fear of panic attacks.

IFS therapy helps you understand what your anxious parts fear and what they’re protecting. Often, beneath anxiety lives a young Exile part carrying feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, or past experiences of being overwhelmed. When you connect with this young part and help it feel safe, your anxious Managers can finally relax.

Many of our Chicago clients report significant anxiety reduction within months of starting IFS therapy. Unlike medication that only manages symptoms, or CBT that challenges anxious thoughts, IFS addresses the root causes of anxiety. When parts realize your Self can handle uncertainty and difficulty, they naturally become less reactive.

We specialize in treating generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, health anxiety, and panic disorder using IFS. Learn more about our comprehensive anxiety therapy approach and panic attack treatment.

Depression and Low Self-Worth

Depression often involves Exile parts carrying intense feelings of worthlessness, shame, or despair, while Manager parts try to keep you functioning by pushing these feelings down or keeping you busy. This internal conflict is exhausting and can manifest as the fatigue, numbness, and hopelessness characteristic of depression.

IFS therapy helps you connect with and heal the wounded parts underneath depression. These might be young parts that experienced rejection, failure, or abandonment. They might carry beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable,” or “Nothing I do matters.” When your Self witnesses what these parts experienced and offers them the compassion they needed then, their burden lifts.

Many clients describe this process as feeling “lighter” or finally being able to “breathe again.” Unlike antidepressants that only manage neurochemistry, or behavioral activation that pushes you to act despite how you feel, IFS heals the underlying wounds causing depression. The result is often more sustainable than symptom-focused treatments.

Relationship Issues and Attachment Wounds

The way you relate to others mirrors your internal system. If Exile parts of you fear abandonment, Manager parts might make you clingy or people-pleasing in relationships. If other parts expect rejection, Firefighter parts might push people away preemptively or sabotage intimacy when you start feeling close.

IFS therapy helps you recognize which parts get triggered in relationships and heal the underlying wounds driving these patterns. You might discover that your jealous part is protecting a young Exile who was betrayed, or that your distant part is protecting against the pain of past abandonment.

Our Chicago therapists work with individuals and couples using IFS principles. We help each person understand their own parts and respond to their partner from Self rather than from triggered parts. This creates space for authentic connection rather than protective reactivity. We’re particularly skilled at working with LGBTQ+ relationship dynamics, including navigating coming out processes, dealing with internalized homophobia in relationships, and addressing unique challenges in queer partnerships.

Self-Destructive Behaviors and Addictions

Behaviors like substance use, binge eating, self-harm, compulsive spending, or sexual acting out are almost always driven by Firefighter parts desperately trying to extinguish emotional pain. These parts aren’t trying to harm you—they’re protecting you from overwhelming feelings that Exile parts carry. This is why IFS therapy works well with addictions.

Traditional addiction treatment often shames these behaviors or focuses solely on stopping them. IFS takes a radically different approach: it appreciates the protective intent behind self-destructive behaviors while helping parts find less harmful ways to accomplish their goals. In IFS therapy, you develop a relationship with your Firefighter parts and understand what pain they’re protecting you from. As you heal the underlying wounds and help protective parts trust your Self leadership, these behaviors naturally diminish.

Additional Issues IFS Addresses

• Complex PTSD and childhood trauma
• Phobias, OCD, and intrusive thoughts
• Low self-esteem and self-worth issues
• Perfectionism and overachievement
• People-pleasing and boundary difficulties
• Anger management challenges
• Grief and loss
• Life transitions and identity exploration
• Chronic pain and psychosomatic symptoms
• Eating disorders and body image issues
• Gender dysphoria and coming out processes (for LGBTQ+ clients)
• Religious trauma and spiritual crisis

We often integrate IFS with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure techniques for comprehensive treatment.

Understanding what happens in IFS therapy can help you feel more prepared and comfortable beginning this transformative work. Here’s what to expect when you work with an IFS therapist at 2nd Story Counseling:

Your First IFS Therapy Session

Your initial session focuses on understanding your concerns and beginning to notice your parts. This isn’t a formal intake where you fill out endless paperwork—it’s a conversation where your therapist listens deeply to what’s bringing you to therapy.

Your therapist will help you identify which parts are most active in your life right now. You might notice an inner critic that constantly judges you, an anxious part always anticipating problems, a part that numbs difficult emotions, a part that withdraws when things get difficult, or a perfectionist part that drives you relentlessly.

This first session is also about building trust. IFS therapy requires feeling safe enough to turn inward and connect with vulnerable parts of yourself. Your therapist prioritizes creating a non-judgmental, supportive environment where all parts are welcome—even the parts you might judge as “bad” or want to eliminate.

The IFS Therapy Process: What Happens Session to Session

As therapy progresses through subsequent sessions, you’ll learn specific skills that become the foundation of IFS work:

Learning to Notice When You’re “Blended”
“Blending” happens when a part takes over your awareness so completely that you become it rather than noticing it. For example, when you’re blended with your anxious part, you ARE the anxiety—there’s no separation or perspective. Your therapist helps you recognize blending and gently “unblend,” creating space between your Self and your parts.

This might sound abstract, but it becomes intuitive quickly. You’ll learn to notice thoughts like “I’m so anxious” and shift to “A part of me feels anxious.” This subtle language shift creates enormous psychological space.

Asking Parts to “Step Back”
Once you can notice a part, you can ask it to separate slightly so you can get to know it better. This isn’t about pushing parts away or suppressing them—it’s about creating enough space for curiosity. Your therapist might ask questions like: “How do you feel toward that anxious part?” “What happens in your body when you focus on that part?” “If that part could step back just a little, what would be here?”

When parts step back enough, you naturally access Self energy characterized by calmness, curiosity, and compassion.

Getting to Know Your Parts
With curiosity from Self, you begin asking parts questions: How old are they? What do they feel? What are they afraid will happen if they stop their role? What are they protecting? When did they first take on this job?

This exploration reveals the beautiful logic behind even your most challenging behaviors. That part that procrastinates? It might be protecting you from a young Exile who’s terrified of failure. The part that isolates you? It could be preventing rejection by never giving anyone the chance to hurt you.

Working with Protector Parts First
IFS always works with protective parts (Managers and Firefighters) before accessing wounded parts (Exiles). This is crucial—if you try to go directly to pain before protectors trust you, they’ll work harder to keep Exiles locked away.

Your therapist helps you develop relationships with protector parts, understanding their fears and appreciating their efforts to keep you safe. When protectors trust your Self leadership, they grant permission to work with the Exiles they’ve been guarding.

Witnessing and Healing Exiles
Once protective parts trust you, they allow access to young, wounded Exiles. This is where the deepest healing happens. In Self energy, you witness what these young parts experienced—the rejection, abandonment, shame, terror, or overwhelm they endured.

Your Self offers these parts what they needed then but didn’t receive: protection, comfort, validation, or simply someone to witness their pain. This isn’t about reliving trauma—it’s about your present-day Self giving your wounded parts the care they always deserved.

As Exiles release their burdens, they transform. The part carrying shame might discover its inherent worthiness. The terrified part might realize the danger is over. This healing ripples through your entire system.

Updating Your Internal System
As Exiles heal, protective parts no longer need their extreme roles. Your anxious Manager that scanned constantly for threats can relax. Your Firefighter that used substances to numb pain can retire from emergency response. Your entire system reorganizes around Self leadership rather than fear-based protection.

Session Frequency and Duration

Most clients begin with weekly 50-55 minute sessions. Some working on complex trauma opt for extended 90-minute sessions, which allow more time for deep parts work without feeling rushed. Your therapist will discuss options during your consultation.

How Long Does IFS Therapy Take?

The timeline varies based on your goals and the complexity of your internal system. Some clients experience significant relief within a few months—better emotional regulation, reduced reactivity, improved relationships. Deeper healing of complex trauma might take a year or more.

Many Chicago clients appreciate that IFS offers both immediate practical benefits and profound long-term transformation. Even in early sessions, learning to unblend from parts and access Self energy creates noticeable change in how you experience difficult emotions.

Between Sessions: Practicing IFS on Your Own

Your therapist will help you practice IFS skills between sessions. You might notice when you’re blended with parts, practice curiosity toward parts instead of judgment, journal from different parts’ perspectives, or use Self energy to work with parts that arise in daily life.

IFS isn’t just therapy—it becomes a way of relating to yourself with more compassion and curiosity. Clients often report that even years after therapy ends, they continue using IFS to navigate life’s challenges.

What Makes IFS Different from Other Therapy?

Unlike therapies that position the therapist as the expert who tells you what to do, IFS recognizes that you have an innate capacity for self-healing. Your therapist is a guide helping you access your own inner wisdom, not an authority figure fixing you.

This creates a fundamentally different therapeutic experience. You’re not pathologized or told your thoughts are “irrational.” Instead, every part of you is welcomed and appreciated, creating safety for genuine transformation.

Finding the right IFS therapist is crucial for successful parts work. Here’s what you need to know about choosing an IFS therapist in Chicago and why 2nd Story Counseling might be the right fit for you.

What to Look for in an IFS Therapist

Not all therapists who mention IFS have extensive training in this modality. When searching for an IFS therapist, consider:

Level of IFS Training: The IFS Institute offers progressive levels of training. Look for therapists who have completed Level 1, Level 2, and ideally Level 3 training. Our therapists have advanced IFS training and continue ongoing education in this approach.

Experience Applying IFS: Training matters, but so does experience. Ask how long the therapist has been using IFS and what percentage of their practice incorporates this approach. IFS is a core modality at 2nd Story Counseling, not just one tool among many.

Integration with Other Approaches: While IFS is powerful on its own, many clients benefit from integration with other evidence-based modalities. Our therapists are trained in EMDR, CBT, and trauma-informed care, allowing us to tailor treatment to your unique needs rather than applying a one-size-fits-all approach.

Cultural Competence and Affirmative Practice: For LGBTQ+ individuals, finding an affirmative therapist is essential. As longtime providers in Boystown and Lakeview, we understand the unique experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals. Many of our clients work with parts that developed in response to discrimination, rejection, or having to hide authentic selves. Our affirming approach helps you heal these wounds and live authentically.

Why Choose 2nd Story Counseling for IFS Therapy?

Over 20 Years Serving Chicago’s North Side
We’ve been a trusted presence in the Lakeview community since our founding, helping hundreds of clients discover healing through therapy. Our longevity speaks to our commitment to quality care and our integration into the North Side community.

Specialized IFS Training and Expertise
Several of our therapists have completed advanced training in Internal Family Systems and continue ongoing education to stay current with the latest developments. We don’t just dabble in IFS—it’s a core part of how we practice.

LGBTQ+ Affirming Specialists
As longtime providers in Boystown and Lakeview, we’ve built our practice around affirming, knowledgeable care for LGBTQ+ individuals. We understand the impact of minority stress and discrimination, parts that developed to protect queer identity, internalized homophobia and transphobia, coming out processes and family dynamics, unique relationship patterns in gay male partnerships, and gender dysphoria and trans-specific issues.

Integrative, Evidence-Based Approach
While IFS is powerful, we recognize that combining approaches often yields the best results. Our therapists integrate IFS with EMDR for trauma processing, CBT for anxiety and depression, somatic techniques for body-based trauma, and attachment-focused therapy for relationship issues. We tailor treatment to your unique needs rather than applying rigid protocols.

Convenient Lakeview Location
Our office is located in the heart of Lakeview, easily accessible from Lincoln Park, Boystown, Uptown, Edgewater, Wrigleyville, Andersonville, Roscoe Village, and North Center. We’re just steps from the Belmont Red Line station with street parking available. Public transportation access makes it easy to attend sessions.

Flexible Appointment Options
We offer both in-person sessions at our comfortable Lakeview office and secure telehealth appointments for clients throughout Illinois. Many clients appreciate the flexibility to do IFS work from the comfort of home, while others prefer the containment of our office for deep emotional work. Most clients can schedule within 1-2 weeks of initial contact.

Insurance Accepted
We accept most major insurance plans for Chicago area clients, making quality IFS therapy accessible. During your initial consultation, we’ll verify your benefits and discuss any out-of-pocket costs. We also offer a sliding scale for clients without insurance coverage.

Questions to Ask When Choosing Your IFS Therapist

When you schedule a consultation with us (or any IFS therapist), consider asking:

• What level of IFS training have you completed?
• How long have you been practicing IFS?
• What percentage of your clients do you see for IFS work?
• How do you integrate IFS with other therapeutic approaches?
• Do you have experience working with my specific issue?
• For LGBTQ+ clients: Are you LGBTQ+ affirming? Do you have experience with queer-specific issues?
• What does a typical IFS session look like with you?
• How do you handle crises or parts that feel overwhelming?

Taking the First Step

Starting therapy requires vulnerability, and we honor the courage it takes to reach out. Whether you’re struggling with trauma, anxiety, relationship issues, depression, or simply want to understand yourself better, Internal Family Systems therapy offers a compassionate path to healing.

You don’t have to keep battling yourself. There’s a way to create internal harmony where all parts of you work together from Self leadership. Our experienced IFS therapists are ready to guide you on this transformative journey.

Contact us today to schedule your free consultation and learn more about how IFS therapy can help you.