Answering: What is the Meaning of My Life?
By: 2SC Staff
How many times in moments of sadness or tragedy have you asked yourself “What’s the meaning of all this?” It’s a universal question, especially when life seems random, cruel or pointless.
As important as this question is – there’s a better way to ask it.
“What is the meaning of my life?”
The difference between these questions is immense, because the first implies that one needs to search outside for answers, that it’s somehow objective. The second asserts that it’s an active process – one that requires thoughtfulness, creativity and imagination – and is totally unique to you.
From a mental health perspective this is crucial. Passivity aids feelings of helplessness and powerlessness – which contribute to depression. Being active embraces your ability to change your way of thinking, feeling and living. It generates hope, helping you to cope – and perhaps even thrive – in the dark moments of life.
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl observed that those who survived the horrific conditions of the concentration camps (those that weren’t killed) were able to conjure in their minds something powerfully personal – whether remembering a loved one, imagining a fulfilling career, or dreaming about a purposeful future.
Meaning is a search.
The book is extraordinary, for it makes manifest that even in unspeakably horrific circumstances, people can avoid succumbing to despair. Obviously this isn’t easy – but you do have some ability to confront your situation, instead of resigning yourself to its pain. After all if people like Frankl could do this – isn’t it possible that you can too?
This article highlights some ways you can create meaning in your life. I hope you find some of them helpful.
1. Recall something fun or interesting
Interests, hobbies and fun activities reflect what matters to you personally. What haven’t you done in awhile that was fun or fulfilling?
- Movies
- Reading
- Volunteering
- Cooking
- Spirituality
- Comedy
- Exercise
- Live music
- Playing sports
- Watching sports
- Running
- Theatre
- Friends
- Lectures
The list could go on and on. In your mind’s eye reflect back upon what was once fun and invigorating – or what you think might be. And force yourself to try one of these.
It will lift you out of your current situation – even just a little bit – and connect to your uniqueness. It will also help to engage with aspects of life with which you may have lost touch.
FYI: If you are thinking about the exercise as listed above and not sure where or how to begin, be sure to read our post!
2. Examine your relationships
Is there someone special in your life? This doesn’t have to be a romantic partner. It can be a mentor, close friend, children, group of friends, teacher, family member, clergy or coworker. Imagine what you want those relationships to look like.
- Have you seen them recently?
- Can you call them?
- Make plans to see them?
- Lean into them for support?
- Is there someone you used to be close to that you haven’t chatted with in a while?
- What would it be like to reconnect with people you love and that love you?
This shifts your focus from your situation to your relationships, providing a sense of community, helping you to feel less alone.
For many, community and relationships comprise meaning in their lives. Might it do the same for you?
3. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is a practice more than a feeling, because let’s face it, we’re not always feeling great about our lives or situations. But practicing gratitude is something you can do. Make a list of five things you’re grateful for. Even when life is incredibly painful, you are likely to find some things that are good.
Some examples:
- Housing
- Food
- Running water
- Someone who cares about me
- Sleep
It may sound silly or trite to list these. But the fact is that we often take many things for granted. Gratitude changes that. It can lift the cloud, even if only by a bit, place your circumstances in perspective and help to engage with the world around you.
If life sucks right now – there are some things that are going right. As they say, it could always be worse.
4. What can I learn from the situation?
Life is about continual change and growth. We are always going to encounter another challenge – and we always have room for improvement.
Every human being has internal barriers to growth. New situations and challenges may feel impossible to deal with. But thinking about how you can grow from this helps focus on the solution rather than obsess about the problem.
Do you need to…
- Reach out to others more?
- Discover additional ways of coping?
- Be more assertive?
- Practice greater acceptance?
- Develop a stronger sense of humor?
- Become more compassionate for others?
- Looking at life’s challenges in this way helps you become a better person – and makes your current situation more survivable.
5. Transform this into something beneficial
Taking pain and channeling its energy into something productive is the single healthiest way of dealing with it. Hands down.
Those that change the world for the better more often than not have experienced great tragedy and pain – and done something positive with it.
- Advocates
- Volunteers
- Teachers
- Counselors
- Comedians
- Clergy
- Artists
- Authors
This is the most potent tool, for it chips away at what feels like pointless pain and turns it into something potentially useful, entertaining or healing. In a word, it transforms it.
Think about your struggles and emotional pain – and ask yourself, “What can I do with this?”
The list is truly endless….
Just a few ideas:
- Volunteer
- Donate to causes you believe in
- Join Self Help Groups
- Blog
- Change your career
- Develop a new hobby
- Start crafting
This creates a future-looking perspective. Hopelessness focuses on what’s impossible; hope focuses on the possible. The more you are in touch with hope the better you are armed to deal with life’s disappointments and pain.
Summary
Meaning and purpose are the backbones of a contented and fulfilled life. They are especially important when in pain and difficulty. Creating them is an active process highlighting your own power as an individual to change what you can.
What’s important is to you remind yourself that you have more choices than you think you do. And the more meaning you create, the better and more manageable life gets.
I hope you found this helpful! Good luck on your journey…..